• Therapy with Alex
    Therapy with Alex Taking the first steps in acknowledging that you need support doesn’t make you weak, in fact it is quite the opposite. Considering the demanding world we live in today I believe that therapy is becoming a necessity
  • Fear of the Unknown
    Fear of the Unknown Through undertaking therapy we can stretch our capacity to tolerate the moment to moment uncertainties of life. Over time you may come to embrace the ebbs and flows of life, and gain an acceptance of ‘what is’.
  • Know thyself
    Know thyself Socrates (C. 469 BC-399 BC) one of the world’s most celebrated philosophers knew the priceless value of self knowledge. In our generation self knowledge gained in therapy is yet again becoming the King of currency.
  • Therapy with Alex
    Therapy with Alex Taking the first steps in acknowledging that you need support doesn’t make you weak, in fact it is quite the opposite. Considering the demanding world we live in today I believe that therapy is becoming a necessity

Your input is important to me. Please provide your valuable feedback. Here are some testimonials from my past and present clients:

Q1
What, if anything, have you learned about yourself, or gained over the duration of our work together. And where there any key-standout moments?

“I have learned to trust my instincts, believe in myself, stand up, take control, look out for red flags and take action, minimise contact and communication with toxic people (damage limitation). Life is, what it is but deal with life’s issues as they happen and learn from life’s mistakes, as no one is perfect. We are born equal and should be treat equal but this is not always the case. An outstanding moment for me was when I turned the corner and properly used the tools in my toolbox provided by yourself to make myself become a better and stronger version of who I am and then later to be able to help others close to me in similar ways but aware not to be caught in the drama triangle”.

Q2
Was there anything you would have liked more of, or less of from me over the duration of our work together?

“Probably more face-to-face sessions, as I believe I would have got more out of the sessions but covid restrictions made it difficult not impossible”.

Q3
Would you recommend therapy with me, and if so why?

“Yes because of your professionalism, understanding, life’s experiences and how good you are to work with, as I would say you are the type of psychotherapist and counselor who has real life experiences (not just out of a text book) and who can relate to individuals personal situations, feelings and emotions, therefore making the therapy real, practical and helpful for now and the future. Also you don’t just deal with the here and now but drive to the root cause”.
 
Date of Posting: 05 May 2021
Posted By: Andrew, S
North East
Question 1 - If anything, have you learned about yourself or gained over the duration of our work together and were there any key standout moments?

This is a big question for me, one which I don’t quite know how to articulate in a way to really depict the importance and impact of our four-year journey to encapsulate the therapeutic work.

I know that I have learned so much from the work and gained so much insight into my process, my sense of self, my beliefs as well as my fire starter behaviours. The learning of why I would behave in a certain way, as well as repeating the same patterns and games insightful and at times painful to come to terms with. Ultimately my insecurities and shame were at the origin of it all. I had been missed my whole life and was lost for a very long time, I didn't know who I was, there were no robust compasses to guide me, until you. Alex, you saw all of me, and my potential to grow into a less wounded version of me, that has more to offer than just the auld sledge hammer….

My insecure base led to many challenges with relationships, as my insecurity to be intimate with relationships scared me, so my go to would be to deflect and become persecutory to find ways to end relationships. So many times, I yearned for intimate relationships, but I just didn't know how to do it. I've gained so much from our developmental work in the therapy. It has been fundamental in shaping me to feel more secure and know my worth which is serving me better. This takes me to the metaphor you shared with me many times, and I now feel I have embraced it’s understanding. This being; “don’t give from the well, give from the bucket”.

I have more knowing, that I can achieve great things in a way that's healthier with keeping my own needs at the forefront, than given too much of my energy to others. I am still learning about the power and depth of vulnerability and that it is okay to show your vulnerabilities and ask for help. Not something I was very good at before. Whereas now, I'm able to look at the situation and think okay what help do I need. It is still a work in progress, although I am proud of me and the progress made.


I have also built around me, great anchors of support where I can be me and all of me is accepted, every version. There are still bumps and at times it can be a bit challenging for me, but by just having those intimate relationships, is huge for me as well as great progress. Alex, you have been influential in helping me navigate the doing, you planted the seeds and helped me grow with applying the nurture and time that I needed.

So yeah, I feel really proud of me, proud of us and proud of the therapeutic work that has been achieved. Today is all about new chapters, and taking forward what I have learned from the therapy. I have introjected a whole lot of the goodness from our transferential relationship. Which will serve me well as; as a mom, as a wife a friend and also as a trainee therapist.





Questions 1 - Key standout moments


There has been so many stand out moments, remembering them the harder part as my ability to record and retain is not the greatest. But as I write this, there is deep knowing those moments have been internalised, I feel it more than being able recall the exact moments.

The understanding of the drama triangle, and my dominant role to rescue and learning the why, was a double edge sword for me. It was such a revelation as well as with so painful to sit with at times. The knowing why I needed to rescue being because nobody rescued me when I needed it most.

The use of metaphors in the work have been a such beneficial intervention in helping me make sense of the here and now, especially when I wasn’t always firing from all cylinders.

We did have some ruptures in our journey, I now know that rupture and repair are fundamental in building relationships worth having. Our most recent rupture, you asked me to not end the relationship, my younger self so wanted to. As I reflect, to have done that, would have been a step backwards along with stepping back into my old script patterns. I stuck it out, and I am so glad I did, as again it was fundamental in my development. It also heightened my inner nurturing parent for myself, I am far better and looking after myself than keeping it contained. `My younger self would manifest and push it down, then project onto others and look to persecute and start fuck off fires.

What has been key, is that you were always there for me, every version of me, when I needed it the most, the darkest and toughest of times as well as the good and celebratory milestones. You showed and modelled to me what I had missed out on my whole life.

Question 2 - was there anything you would have liked more of, or less of, from me over the duration of our work together.

(mmmmmm less half nakedness in the bucket pops, PMSL!!!) On a more serious note, you have always been very generous in sharing your story, your authenticity I have always found inspiring and admirable. I found great comfort from how genuine and transparent you were from our very first session.

At times, I felt flooded in the moment with little space to process. Perhaps, more space in those moments to allow my introverted self to process I think may have lessened that flooding. As our relationship developed we did find our regulated rhythm.

As I develop my sense of self as a therapist, the use of self and authenticity is so important for me to bring to the therapeutic work, which is from having that shown to me. The sheer potency of having the courage to be authentic is lacking at times within this field.

.

.

Question 3 - Would you recommend therapy with me and if so, why?



When I read this question, I found myself got straight to a defensive place, in thinking I certainly would recommend you in a heartbeat, then I felt a part of me go to a place of, well they have to be worthy of your time and effort. I think it was my Child not wanting to share me pops, lol!

I would recommend therapy with you, for the reason that you put all of you into the work, you really do, always present, authentic and honest. The therapy has been fundamental in shaping this chapter of my life, I will always be forever in your debt.

Four years ago, I was consumed in the depths and darkness of mental illness, the realisation torturous. The shame squeezing my innards so tight I was lifeless and took shelter under the duvet. The treacle so heavy, I was drowning. An anchor was sent my way to help bear the weight and keep me afloat. The anchor instilled seeds of life, that led to prosperity as well as guidance towards new seas to swim.
 
Date of Posting: 05 April 2021
Posted By: Client
UK
Question 1
What, if anything, have you gained/learned about yourself over the duration of our work together? And were there any standout moments?

“I have gone from not accepting what had happened to accepting it. My feelings towards K have eased and I don’t crave her attention/love anywhere near what I used to. I understand that now and feel I’ve learnt how to deal with the past with a more open mind. It has happened and I have to move forward”.

Question 2
Would you recommend therapy with me, and if so, why?

“I would definitely recommend you. Your attention to detail and how you broke things down worked for me. I also, even though it was hard to hear at times liked your occasional bluntness. You assessing some of the things I was experiencing in a certain tone opened my eyes to things. I also felt that you felt my pain too at what I was going through. It gave me some real comfort and I can’t thank you enough”.
 
Date of Posting: 18 February 2021
Posted By: Matt
South of England
Question 1

What, if anything, have you gained/learned about yourself over the duration of our work together, and were there any key/standout moments?

“Before coming to you I would be sympathetic to people who were struggling mentally but I had a give yourself a kick up the arse and get on with it attitude.
Since therapy I now understand better mental health and show sympathy with a knowledge of why some people cannot cope.
A stand out moment was how you could see behind the mask I put on for people”.

Question 2

Would you recommend therapy with me, and if so, why?

“Absolutely I would recommend you.
A family member told me to contact you with the words
“He will take you to some hard places and if that’s not what you want then choose another therapist “
And he was right but I am so pleased I did contact you.
Thanks I know where you are if I need help again”.
 
Date of Posting: 15 February 2021
Posted By: Sarah, H.
North East
 
Date of Posting: 04 September 2020
Posted By: Lewis
Question 1
What, if anything, have you gained or learned about yourself over the duration of our work together and where there any key/standout moments?
“I have learnt that things aren’t always my fault as I used to quickly believe. A key moment was when you challenged me on the choices I make, I know now it’s a case of sitting back and reflecting over the whole situation without the ready made judgements I used to have about myself that sent me downwards. I also liked how you kept me in the present, the here and now as you called it. I used to either dwell in the past or worry about the future. I remind myself often now that it’s about today and only today”.

Question 2
Would you recommend therapy with me, and if so, why?
“yes I would recommend you to anyone as I feel like you have made me a better person. Thank you”.
, Tyne and Wear
 
Date of Posting: 24 July 2020
Posted By: J, B.
What if anything, have I learnt..... LOTS!

In short I have learnt your past does not have to define your future.
Your environment (people and situations) can poison your body but it is possible to expel that and stop it affecting you as long as you are aware.

Being governed by old patterns is harmful but it's possible to stop them
Your thoughts are not necessarily your friend!!

Key stand out moment........
Realising I am living a more conscious life, and that I am catching myself before slipping into old worn patterns of behaviour.
Finding my spark and energy was back, not feeling like the old worn out woman as I did last year

Major moment was when I found I was asking myself - why are you doing this? What are you wanting to achieve from this? Should you be doing this?
Would I recommend therapy with you.....

YES!!!! Unless you want 'tea and sympathy' or an easy ride then maybe not ?
and why......

I would never have got to a place of peace, happiness and contentment without the work we have done over the last year.

The challenges made of me really ensured I examined what I was doing and why.

I feel I will take these lessons forward through the next phase of my life (and if I have any new issues I know where you live!!!)
, Teesside
 
Date of Posting: 22 July 2020
Posted By: J, B.
What if anything, have I learnt..... LOTS!

In short I have learnt your past does not have to define your future.
Your environment (people and situations) can poison your body but it is possible to expel that and stop it affecting you as long as you are aware.

Being governed by old patterns is harmful but it's possible to stop them
Your thoughts are not necessarily your friend!!

Key stand out moment........

Realising I am living a more conscious life, and that I am catching myself before slipping into old worn patterns of behaviour.
Finding my spark and energy was back, not feeling like the old worn out woman as I did last year
Major moment was when I found I was asking myself - why are you doing this? What are you wanting to achieve from this? Should you be doing this?

Would I recommend therapy with you.....

YES!!!! Unless you want 'tea and sympathy' or an easy ride then maybe not and why......

I would never have got to a place of peace, happiness and contentment without the work we have done over the last year.

The challenges made of me really ensured I examined what I was doing and why.

I feel I will take these lessons forward through the next phase of my life (and if I have any new issues I know where you live!!!)
Thank you
, Teesside
Question 1
What, if anything, have you gained/learned about yourself over the duration of our work together, and were there any key/standout moments?
“I think I have learned I can stick up for myself without it coming across as a negative. I didn’t realise how little I’d dealt with being bullied as a child. It’s given me an inner strength I didn’t know I possessed”.
Question 2
Would you recommend therapy with me and if so, why?
“Absolutely recommend therapy with yourself. Why? You’ve got a real ability to go to the root of the problem, whether I think there’s one or not, you’ve got a real way about you (not sure how to word that any better off the cuff) I’ve certainly gained a lot more from these therapy sessions than I actually thought I would”.
 
Date of Posting: 10 March 2020
Posted By: K S
Teesside
Question 1
What, if anything, have you gained/learned about yourself over the duration of our work together and were there any key/standout moments?
“I think the main thing I’ve learned about my preconceptions before starting therapy is that there needs to be a definitive answer, solution. Sometimes accepting things can really shed some light on things I didn’t feel were connected. You’ve got straight to the point and went through my past and tied things into my present with the theory explaining that. I’ve looked at these things and accepted that they play a part in how I am and who I am. I can choose how I am in the here and now. The drama triangle was a standout, realising how events bounce around without escape was big, accepting that and understanding that was powerful. Actually realising and knowing this is what I’m doing, and this is what will come from that, you used “that’s not for me” regularly which took me a while to get my head around. What you meant was I’m not willing to accept this because there’s other ways I can go about this. I don’t need to carry that weight. It’s helped me to have a different view on almost everything, day to day interactions. Transference was also useful, explaining how that can have an effect on how we see and are seen. I’m aware that my triggers haven’t necessarily changed but how I see them has in a positive way, giving me more choice and freedom. For me the acceptance part as well, when people have talked to me about therapy a lot of it has been acceptance that you can get yourself into cycles, and you can take one step outside of it to be removed and say “what was I doing”.
Question 2
Would you recommend therapy with me and if so, why?
“Absolutely again you’ve commented a little bit about feedback, the stigma men have, I was absolutely that guy, I’ve not understood the idea of therapy, I’d tried CBT so I had a reference point I’d seen a different style. The way I’ve tried to describe how I feel and why it’s not the same for everyone. Your mind sees the cage, the lock is on the outside and you’ve helped me unlock it. Your own personal style, I can imagine not everyone goes around it the way you do, which isn’t negative or positive. I thought it would be a lot more formal, a bit like in the movies. It’s been far more ‘in conversation’ planned but loose and I’d say it takes a couple of sessions to be able to feel comfortable in speaking to someone about things that you’ve never spoke about and to see how these methods are working. I wanted to come but there was anxiety. I came to look forward to Tuesdays to see what I’d learn next, to unlock that cage and make it a bit wider.
I did expect my therapist to throw the odd swear word in, to tell me about your own experiences, that threw me a little bit. But it has helped, because opening up is easier when others open up to you. That two way thing is eased when someone else will do the same in some degree. Good friends are people who tell each other things. I don’t feel as judged as I’m other relationships”.
 
Date of Posting: 07 February 2020
Posted By: N W
Teesside
Question 1

What, if anything, have you gained/learned about yourself over the duration of our work together and were there any key/standout moments?

“What was key for me was the chain of events following our accident. I’ve learned It’s OK to not feel OK. It is what it is now, and what happened no longer controls me. I accept what happens, I’m no longer ruled by it.
The practical breathing Excercise’s we started with was helpful straight away in grounding me, it gave me a platform to work from.
The biggest standout moment for me was talking about the accident, I felt really rubbish after, like a watershed moment. Then I came through it and learned I didn’t need to lock it away constantly. I cried here, pushing it away hadn’t done me any good. Even walking through the door was a major step forward for me”.

Question 2

Would you recommend therapy with me, and if so, why?

“Definitely. It’s absolutely worked for me. I’ve lost what I thought it would be like. You’ve probed and got things out of me that were holding me back and it’s been much more conversational than I though it would be. You tackle things head on. Without hesitation I’d say ‘go and speak to Alex’.
 
Date of Posting: 19 October 2019
Posted By: Ed O
Teesside

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I am on a voluntary register that has been accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.

The AVR scheme was set up by the Government to improve standards and safety for the benefit of the public and demonstrates my commitment to high professional standards, to enhancing safety and delivering a better service.

Daily Quotes

“A path is only a path, and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you . . . Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary. Then ask yourself alone, one question . . . Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't it is of no use.”
Carlos Castenada

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